I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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