I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
