it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i out mim tonsoeep
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