Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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