did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
