Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
