I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
