Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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