Nicole vs. Life
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
