and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
