So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
