no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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