I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
