I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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