I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
did i just pee glitter
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
