one might say we're banned from that church
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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