we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
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Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
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Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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