just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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