Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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