we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
