I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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