I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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