Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
