Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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