i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
