Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I believe in your delicious
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
