How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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