A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize