roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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