if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
