so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize