she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
