It's a beautiful day for a hangover
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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