I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I AM VODKA MAN
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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