I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
