Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
