I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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