Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize