the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
