Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
