New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
That reminds me...we need to get swords
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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