I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize