She said her name was "party"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize