You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need a hoe opinion
go on
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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