Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
