That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize