one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
