yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
