Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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