just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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