May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
