So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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