We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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