pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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