I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just found a bag of teeth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
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