I'm eating all of the evidence.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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