STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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