it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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